OK so one day I was wondering around the blogosphere minding my own business when I stumbled upon Red's post. The question at the end of the post "What made you?"
After Red's revelations my answer was:
"I cannot say what made me, it includes a string of obscenities to make a sailor blush. Seeing the good in people, something I lost long ago. Now when a child runs from someone or the chills run through my body like someone walking on my grave, not yet dug, I walk away trying not to knock anyone over in the process."
As usual Red's response to this made me delve deeper and it took a bit of thought.
Strained, non-strained, long lived and short lived. Relationships with family, friends, lovers, husbands and those worlds away from me. Whether filled with truths or deceits each has served a purpose.
I have taken something from them all. The good ones, the bad ones, even the ones I had no choice in. Some are still lasting, others dissolved of their own accord long ago. Everyone, every relationship serves a purpose though it may not make itself known at the moment you think it should.
Relationships made me.
Triumphs and Disappointments
Ups and downs come for everyone the same as weddings and deaths come in threes. The triumphs typically came alone with no one to share them. The disappointments the same, the exception is someone else often helped to achieve them.
Triumphs and disappointments though I have nothing to prove made me.
My children never cease to amaze me whether it is proving they are just like me regardless of influence or making me wonder where they got their personalities. The number of bumps and bruises they have achieved amazes me, the lack of danger they sense in trying to befriend even alligators scares the daylights out of me.
Wondering how my heart has not stopped made me.
True friends are hard to find. These are the ones that stand by you no matter what you do or where you are. They know where you have been, every mistake, every vengeful thought and love you just the same. They never say that it's too far to go, or worry about the cost to them when they catch you. They simply show up and help you out of the ditch you're burying yourself in.
They prove that blood is not always thicker than water. They become family, friends made me.
The Silly Moments
"Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey." It also makes mud puddles to splash in and not care that you're wearing your Sunday best. Kids don't care if their shoes are caked with mud or that they have splatters all the way up to their face. They just jump in, searching out mud puddles is the best feeling in the world.
Dancing around like you have lost all control with one of your children, watching a cartoon and actually enjoying it.
Laughter made me.
What made you?