Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Changes for 2015

It is almost a new year and we are making a number of changes. We went through a lot this year, another move that was spur of the moment so to speak and the purchase and sell of a vehicle. We (I) got a lesson in friendships, and the fact that some of them can go on far too long. 

There are those that will adopt you as family, claiming to love you as much as they love the blood family they were born into. Yet they fall short when it comes to providing you with the same care and consideration that they provide to others in their circle. The words are all correct in form, inflection, and body language. The actions are far from matching.

Words are just that.

"I'm trying"

Translation, I will do what I can as long as it fits conveniently into my schedule. 

"I know I haven't been a very good friend lately"

On the surface it appears to be a confession of guilt. It is not. Things are not always what they seem. This is one such instance. The lowered head, and down cast eyes are merely a way of purging themselves of the guilt they feel at knowing no matter what the words from their mouth they are not going to change. 

Some people do change over time; they grow up from selfish children to be independent yet caring people. Others however get more selfish as they age. It is not something I understand but it is something I have seen to be fact.

Collateral Damage

Children are all to often the ones that get hurt when people do not keep their word. This is where we begin to eliminate people from our circle no matter how long they have been  part of it, or how much they claim to love us.

It is sad they do not realize how their actions or lack thereof hurt children. They will even have a look of surprise when they realize they have been kicked out of the child's life. Some will even offer up an apology that falls on death ears.

Moving on in 2015

The tail end of 2013 set a domino effect of change in place for my little girl and I. We moved to a strange place with people we new only from the virtual world and phone calls. It was an interesting six month span from September 2013 to March 2014. I learned a lot during that time, and the lessons still pop up regularly to remind me of all I accomplished in that short time.

March of 2014 found us moving again. Another strange place but this time I knew the people from my real life. It was a choice I made for a variety of reasons. 

December  2014

At this point I have made and lost new friends. It was for the best. I am focusing on us, and what is best for us. You see we both have issues and we have to protect ourselves.

She is autistic (most of you are aware of this); I have PTSD and panic disorder with agoraphobia. We do things differently than the rest of the world, and even our neighbors on a daily basis.

We call transportation for our appointments, and rely on others to get us places since we had to get rid of our vehicle due to an inability to afford the repair bills. We will be getting another one; a smaller one we can actually afford because no one will be butting in this time.

I am going to be doing more walking in the meantime as well as shopping online. It makes life simpler for us. I am not the only one attempting to be car free for as long as possible though it would be easier in a city a bit larger. 

Eliminations

We live in a small one bedroom apartment. This makes eliminating things that we do not need a necessity for comfort. It also makes taking advantage of storage space to make it hold as much as possible in an organized manner a must. 

The eliminations are not limited to material goods; they are extending to people this year. What are you going to change in 2015?




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