Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Five Ways to Win My Heart

Ok Red over at M3 is doing a 30 day challenge. I'm going to attempt to play along. Here goes.

OK five ways to win my heart is the first topic on the list. It does more than just pump blood. It has more than a singular purpose.

1-5. Don't be stupid. 

OK let's elaborate on that shall we. 

1. Be Thankful 

Be thankful for what you have, do not complain that you only have what you need but it is not what you want. There are those with far less than you have yet they complain not. They do not know any different so they have nothing to complain about, they simply accept the circumstances as they are.

2. Do Not Underestimate Me

OK so it should have been first, but it didn't pop to mind first. OK maybe it did, I just cleaned the language up a bit. To say that I do not bite would be like saying my dog(s) will not attack if you provoke them. 

Granted for the most part they are big babies, but if you swing at them they like I have the right to defend themselves. The day you tell me my dog(s) have bitten you I will likely start a campaign to obtain a legal defense fund for them as I know their nature well enough to know you had to do something to them to invoke the response.

In the same vein do not provoke me in an attempt to get a specific response or pick a fight and act surprised or injured when I make no efforts to avoid your jugular. I will do so willingly, without hesitation given enough of an attack to warrant it. I will do so without regret. So before you provoke me, you might want to cover your wounds before you have to go lick them again. You better be able to stand your ground.

3. Show you made it past kindergarten.

A gorgeous man is a feast for the eyes, when he opens his mouth to leave you to question that he passed kindergarten it is an assault to the ears. 

4. Pay attention.

Contrary to popular belief I do not actually care for the sound of my own voice. Do not make me repeat myself because you lack the ability to close your mouth and open your ears long enough to have a clue to reality.

5. Leave my animals alone.

Do not pick on or complain about my animals. They live here, it's their home and they are family. There is a pretty good chance I like them more than I like you, especially if you failed the first four items on this lists in their entirety. 

Thanks for stopping by, visit M3 for the full subject list of the 30 days. Until next time, please help fight stupidity. 




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