Sunday, January 11, 2015

Stressors

It is once again time to bring my expenses down, and I am not enjoying the process as much as I have in the past. It is not a game this time; it is a mission that I have to complete in order to keep my sanity.
When I got here I let supposedly well-meaning people "talk" me into buying a vehicle I didn't even want to go look at. It became a source of anxiety so I got rid of it when it tore up. Then those people told me they'd help until I was "back on my feet" which to them meant owning a vehicle.

This simply proved that they had not listened to a word I said to them during the years that proceeded this interaction. Had they listened not only would they not have insisted I go look at the vehicle after I told them I was not interested, they would never have taken it upon themselves to have someone look for one for me.

Facts:

1. I had not driven in six months before I came to this place.
2. They had to drive across several states to get me, and I could not participate in the driving. (I paid for the trip.) 
3. I would not have been able to drive here even with a vehicle.
4. Driving had been a source of extreme stress for years.

What does it all mean?

It means that though I knew better I allowed myself to think that despite the constant interrupting at some point something had sunk in. 

It is my fault, had I not been so stressed despite the reduction of stress I would have paid more attention to the lack of comprehension on their part. I am tired of the self centered stupidity that surrounds me therefore I am once again in isolation attempting to cut off as much human contact as possible.

Until next time, may your life be free from the things that would cause you to shut down.


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