When things are going the way that we envisioned them all along there isn’t anything to think over. It is only when things begin to take strange twists and turns with endings and new beginnings that we actually start to think things over.
Questioning the life that we have led up until that point and wondering if we have ever really been happy is not a pleasant experience. Finding out that the one point and time when we were happy we were still missing something is a revelation that is like a punch to the face. Figuring out what made you unhappy while you were otherwise on top of the world is a long fall to say the least.
Two people can share the same dreams, to a point but when the most important ones are the ones that they fall short on it’s a long road to the realization that you’re working against each other. Did you sacrifice what you want to be together or did your dreams adjust in that moment? Having children doesn’t cause you to forget what you wanted it just changes it for the better; but spouses can cause you to forget as you try to adjust to what they want even if it is what you never wanted at all.
Thinking over the things that you lost and all that you have gained takes time. It's not the actual process of thinking that takes up so much time, but the sorting it all out. Years make memories fuzzy and time alters that perceptions that you once had.
The love of your life could be close by for a lifetime but better off as a memory. It's all a matter of perception, and whether or not you can alter your desires to make it work. Common ground is sometimes unattainable.