The realization that I have yet to wrap what few gifts that I managed to get my girls this year hit me all of a sudden. I was in shock that I had not bother to wrap them but I still did not hurry to do so. This year did not go as planned. I was getting a bit too comfortable though. I've come to associate the time at the end of the year when people typically celebrate the holidays to someone dying. This year was no exception and now four children will not have their mother this holiday season.
I am not sure if it was supposed to be this way or not but it does not seem fair. There is nothing that seems fair lately, especially the fact that at the rate I'm going I will never again have the time to sit and enjoy life. I used to enjoy sitting on the front porch (provide me one with shade) to look around at the world. Not so much anymore. My front porch is in direct sunlight during the hours of the day that I'd like to sit on it and my back porch which I need the most is about to fall apart.
I have finally decided to do some repairs on this place. It's going to be interesting as I will be doing them on my own since my soon to be ex-husband is as lazy as he can be. I'll be taking a few shortcuts and covering up some spots where the siding is falling instead of ripping it down and re-insulating it. That takes time and money I do not have. The fact is there are items in the pawn shop and a loan out on the soon to be ex's car. I have to remind him to pay on it or he is going to lose it. If I had not allowed him back in my house he would be getting his car taken to cover the loan and walking the streets during the day before freezing on them at night.
I am trying to figure out how to get all the work I need to do done as my child forces me away from my computer. In her defense she is at least asking for educational things while she is pulling, tugging and pushing me out of my chair to take over.
Well, housework is calling so I'll end this for now and let the pesky little angel have the computer. I hope to get one of my own someday so that she's not stealing it from me every time I turn around. I have walked away to find her opening pages of her own and deleting my things in the process. Today we aren't tempting fate.