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Now for Christmas

Yes, the next holiday would be fast approaching, but before it gets here one of my children has a birthday. I have no idea what to get her. My girls are far from typical, so we run into this problem each year. This child will not come out and tell me what she wants anymore. She has a head for finances, or rather an understanding of broke and she understands that I am. Wise beyond her years, and I am working hard to correct the fact that for a while now I have been at the maximum with my expenses. 

When I say maximum I mean that there is nothing left in the event of an emergency. I miss my cable but it was a small sacrifice that didn't really open up the savings potential. Something else took it's place. My light bill is down but that again left room for repairs to be performed. The idea is to get everything fixed and tuck money away. I have to live here until I can find a place that I can afford and that takes pets. I don't want to buy anything down here. I don't want to spend my life down here.

My ex-husband refused to leave this place, and the baby's daddy well we can't afford to leave this place. The fact he was willing to leave this place was part of the attraction. I hate it down here. I can't explain it I just hate it.

Thanksgiving was non-existent except for a cake so, the baby was sick and I hate to cook. I've tried to make dinner in years past and been met with whining complaints, so maybe a lack of dinner this year will make people more thankful next year. The tree is still boxed up, the kid's presents haven't been wrapped. I have to clear a corner in the living room to put it for her. The decorations? They are all still decorations that she made in school. 

OK it's time to attempt to work, if I don't go back to work today there will be no payday at all next week. 
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I can remember that I used to get excited about the holidays but that was a long time ago. I was a kid and family still enjoyed a home cooked meal made mostly from scratch. The thought of going out to eat or buying frozen dumplings never crossed anyone's mind. I miss those days more than anyone could ever imagine.

Now I prefer to spend the holidays alone with the daughter that I have with me. I'd love to spend it with both of them but that's not always possible. This year I'm taking my youngest to my mother's and hubby is going with his parents to their family. Someone is cooking, I have no idea who. All I know is that they're huggy people and I'm not.

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