Skip to main content

Friends, Lovers and Loss

In this life friends and lovers come and go sometimes like a revolving door. Some have had far to many lovers and to few friends. We managed to allow both to slip from our lives, never to be heard from again, as if the wind blew them away.

How many times has someone come into your life for the briefest of moments and taught you a lesson that though you did not want to learn it you had no choice? In the end the lesson was probably one that you should have learned long ago, or a much needed refresher course. The lessons that are the hardest to learn are often the ones that we need to learn the most.

Friend or Lover?
Friends are hard to come by while lovers can be a dime a dozen with a serving of severe headache on the side. The endorphins released is the same with love and sex. The same rush of adrenaline leaves you on top of the world; when the high is from sex you are destined to come down at some point. The feeling is amazing while it lasts, savor it until it is gone.

Friends are there when you need them even if the only thing they can do is offer you an ear to listen. It doesn't matter what time of day or night they are willing to give the shirt off their back or drive hundreds of miles to rescue you. They don't ask questions, they just respond to the need.

There will be times when they'll try to give advice when you need them to be silent but their hearts are in the right place. Do not take them for granted. It's not a matter of trying to control your life, but a matter of trying to help you when they aren't sure what to do.

One in the same

Having a friend that is also your lover can be a slippery slope. There is a fear that you will risk losing the friendship is always present. The question is not whether or not to take the risk but whether or not you're strong enough to make it through the storm. There are days when you are going to argue but you cannot let that get the best of you.

It is a matter of whether or not the two of you can work past it all and come to an understanding. It is possible to have friendship and love without sex, and to have sex without love. What is difficult is having all three rolled into one and working through the difficulties that come with them. It is not easy to give yourself over to someone completely but it is worth the risk.

Controlled by Fear
There are those who fear combining love with friendship, fear forming it into a solid relationship that is far more than friendship. That is there problem, not yours. The only thing you can do is decide that you are tired of beating a dead horse and move on. The ones that are open to being loved are easier to love. 

Never fight to stay in someone's life that doesn't want you there. It is not worth being an after thought. Treat yourself with respect, and you will be more likely to receive respect.

Remember there is a difference between weathering a storm and allowing someone to walk all over you.

Do you believe it's possible to build a deeper relationship from a friendship? 

Hashtags #friendship #relationships #love

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Starting Over. Again.

Life never goes the way we plan and that's okay. We just had a major change that I tried and tried to plan for only to have my plans fall apart every. single. time. It was when I stopped with the obsessive planning and pulling my hair out that it all came together. We're doing pretty good while we make the adjustment to home. Here's hoping that we'll be completely back on track soon.

Until next time, never listen to the voice that says you can't. Find the voice that says Fuck it I'm doing it.

Killing Us Softly: Becoming the Surviving Spouse of Cancer (Review)

Killing Us Softly: Becoming the Surviving Spouse of Cancer by Red Dwyer is something that I recently had the pleasure of reading. 

Red takes you through the first hand journey of becoming the surviving spouse when cancer hit family. She takes you through the diagnosis and the aftermath of losing a spouse while raising small children.