Odds and Ends

This day has been one that was pleasantly unexpected. The beginning was rough but the end is peaceful. Let's chat.

Over the past year it has become my saving grace.

Yes, it is plural. I have two, one male and the other female.

Today is a day to write to something that I have never met. 

The cold, ice and teasing of snow are a bit depressing.

I seem to have fallen behind with the month of letters as a result of some unexpected difficulties but I am back. This letter is to someone that will only be referred to as baby boy. He is real, he is naive and merely a child stuck in the body of a man. Enjoy.

Today is a day that I do not celebrate for a number of reasons. It is my birthday, don't worry about how old I am now.

The years have been a combination of kind and cruel since the day you exited from my daily life. There are a few things that I neglected to say before you left.

Time is passing quickly, more quickly than I realize until I look at my children and how they have grown.

I enjoy your presence even though it is the last day of rest I have during the school year. In the summer you are the most peaceful day, the one we take advantage of to rest and go to the park.  It is nice to know that you will be there for me at the end of a long week. I take advantage of the fact that everyone is off doing something to enjoy the time alone. I wish to drink a toast to you and the peacefulness that you bring. To be honest the fall lineup is pretty good too.

I look forward to you because you mean there is no need to turn on my alarm clock in order to get up an obscene hour. My child is the one waking me up demanding cartoons. When I was a child there was no need to wake anyone up, we simply sat in front of the t.v. quietly. I have always looked forward to you because of the break you provided. That is unless I was in a position to have to work when you came around. Then I spent some of the time upset that I was neglecting you.  You were the time that meant my husband would either be off to spend time with (when I had one I liked) or he'd be gone and I wouldn't have to deal with him (when I had one I did not like).  So Saturday you see that you are a bittersweet day for me. I have a love hate relationship with you that will continue for a lifetime.

I so enjoyed seeing you make my bank balance increase, but I wanted to cry when you left me high and dry being used to take care of expenses. I did so enjoy the years when you were furnishing my home to prevent me from going into debt. I am grateful for the year that you paid the bills while times were tough. I have figured up my average expenses through the years and realized there were years that I could have lived entirely off of you and saved what I earned. Though the temptation would have been to take that entire year off. That might not have been a good idea because when you ran out I would have been in a world of hurt. When I think back over your amounts through the years in theory had I been alone I could have saved you in your entirety and paid off a house of relatively low cost by today's standards. Savings you until I reached the age of retirement would give me a nice nest egg to fall back on and hopefully leave something behind for my children. You were small th...

Dear 5 A.M. I am not fond of you at all but I see you regularly. You are the time that allows me to rest before I get my daughter up for school. You allow me a precious few minutes of silence to have some coffee and indulge in my nicotine addiction without interruption.  You are also the time of day I dread the most when I have trouble relaxing enough to get to sleep at night. I know that I will hit the snooze button before I give in and get out of bed as I should.  I enjoy the peace and the mornings with "The Beverly Hillbillies" but the sun that is not yet warm isn't even yawning in my windows at this time. The moon is still high in the sky welcoming me back to my bed.  You are my least favorite and favorite time of day at the same time for different reasons. I just wish that you did not come so early in the morning.

Dear expenses, I am far from fond of you. Your existence is not one I wish to continue. You are a long time stress-er there appears to be no escape from even when I have you completely under control.

I live each day watching autism at peak with the highs and lows effecting every choice we make.

Depending on the day the rain is either my best friend or my worse nightmare.

According to M3  it the month of letters, so here goes.

It is the shortest month of the year with only 28 days and I am planning accordingly. Today I will walking to the nearest store in order to ensure that I have cash on me to take the baby to eat at least once this month and change for the laundry.  This is also my birthday month, as 39 approaches I find that I am reflecting on things from twenty years ago. Where I thought I'd be, where I hoped to be, where I've been and where I am. I hope that the next part of the ride is just as filled with adventures appropriate or inappropriate. Twenty years ago I merely 18 and thought that I had it all figured out. I look back and remember all the nights that I spent dreaming of my future. I wanted it all, a career that took me around the world, family and friends, parties and a large bank account to retire comfortably on.  I have yet to get travel the world. I have had three husbands and am in the process of divorcing the third. I have two daughters I would not trade for the world. M...